The Inside is What Counts
by Tiro
Summary: Kurotsuchi Mayuri hides his face behind a mask. That mask also hides who he really is. One day, someone discovers who he really is, and they both find a new friend. Fifth, and LAST one-shot. Non-yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**1. Mask**

**Summary**: Kurotsuchi Mayuri hides his face behind a mask. That mask also hides who he really is. One day, someone discovers who he really is, and they both find a new friend.

**Pairing/s**: None.

**Warnings**: Mayuri definitely out of character. More than one person out of character-fic. Mention of blood and gore. Slight spoiler for the previous twelfth captain.

**Disclaimers**: I don't own Bleach.

-

_Not all of us are__ really who others think we are_

Kurotsuchi Mayuri was _the_ freak in Soul Society amongst the Shinigamis. He was abnormal, anti-social and cruel. He abused his 'daughter' Nemu, he experimented on all people he could find and he loved to take things (and living beings) apart. _Painfully slow_.

Oh, how little everyone knew. Mayuri rested the left side of his head on the cool table and breathed deeply. He had told Nemu to go to bed long ago, as he had seen she was getting tired. Despite of how he treated her in public, he truly cared for her. And she knew that, and accepted the behaviour he had outside their private rooms. Even his own people thought he abused her. Or most of them; Akon seemed to have the ability to see right through his mask. The man never said anything about his captain's behaviour outside the small safety space Mayuri had made, knowing him better than Mayuri liked.

He could show all people that he did care, if only he knew how to. Nemu knew he had a hard time to show emotions of any kind in public except for anger and disgust. Anger and disgust at others, always faked when it came to her. Nemu knew if she died, he would die as well. That was why he built her strong, trained her so much and made her always work harder to become stronger, more independent.

He closed his eyes before rising up. Before him lay a zanpaktou, the first a Shinigami had managed to build. Never underestimate a Kurotsuchi. They were scientists at heart, good with their hands and tools. Not good with people. Nemu was an exception but that was because Mayuri had made her one. He did not want her to be like him, anti-social and hard to be friend with. He wanted his daughter to have friends.

He chuckled weakly. What would his parents say? To create a daughter with tools, inhuman machineries… it was taboo for even his family to do so, so he had broken the rules. No matter; all of his family was dead so why should he care?

He caressed the zanpaktou he had just spent several hours checking over. It was now perfect. Ready to be given to Nemu. Her own zanpaktou. He had no idea what its' name was so it was for her to discover. He smiled and lifted it gently. The man sheathed it carefully and carried it out from the laboratory. The halls were quiet and empty as it was five in the morning. Akon usually got up before the two Kurotsuchis, around six in the morning but for now the man was asleep.

He slid the door to Nemu's room open and stepped inside, his steps soundless on the cold floor. She was deep asleep and did not even stir as he put the zanpaktou on her night-stand. He then exited after a last look at her.

Not feeling like going to bed just yet, he stepped out from the compound of the twelfth division and began walking the streets of Seireitei. The sun had just barely begun to rise and he raised his eyes to watch it. He was well aware of his mask being gone but was confident no one was awake to see him. He did not even know how he looked like. It had been too long since he last looked himself in a mirror. He was vaguely certain his hair was blue. Nemu had once said he looked handsome but Mayuri did not know how a person looked like when they were handsome. Acceptable perhaps? Not _too_ ugly?

He jumped over the walls surrounding Seireitei easily and landed on a street. It was quiet there as well, the souls still sleeping. Only one or two were up and looked frightened at him. He paid no attention but used Shunpo to continue. He had no idea where he was going but he needed some time alone. The war with Aizen had ended, with the death of said man and his tools called Espada. Almost all Shinigamis had celebrated the victory but Mayuri could have cared less. So what? They won this time. It would come someone else in the future, and maybe that time he or she would win. Being a Shinigami meant fighting for all future. Always fighting, never resting. Because there was always something to fight. _Always_.

He came to stop in a meadow and took a few breaths. He swept his hair away and noted it was indeed blue. Blue… how abnormal. He had never seen a person with blue hair. The most abnormal hair colour he had seen was Kurosaki Ichigo's orange mop of hair, or perhaps that fucking Szayel. Pink… Mayuri shuddered at the thought. Pink! At least the pink looked fine on that brat Yachiru. Maybe he should have counted her in as well, but he had seen her with that hair for so long that he did not react on it any longer.

He sat down by a tree and looked up at the sky that grew brighter as the sun climbed higher. He knew he was not liked, and not just because he wore a mask or what he suspected to look underneath. They did not like his personality, who they thought he was. They could think all what they wanted that he had no idea; they were foolish if they thought he had no idea. He heard the whispering among him, even when he walked through the corridors of his own division. The few who remembered Urahara Kisuke said he was a much better captain and how much they missed that man.

Well, sometimes Mayuri missed him as well. With Kisuke in charge Mayuri could retreat to a laboratory for days or even weeks. The man never tried to make Mayuri social but let the blue-haired man do as he wished. So many had envied him for his position, that he could come and go as he wanted and that he was never told off by their captain. Many had gotten angry when Mayuri was made captain after Urahara Kisuke fled.

He himself had felt some sort of pride that he qualified for that position, a position where his sort of idol had been. Now though… he was just tired of it.

He bent his head and curled up. Emotions like sorrow and pain was far away but when they came, they came hard. He had not let them come through for a long time, and thought he was safe in this meadow. He would go back before Akon or Nemu found out he had not been sleeping that night, or that he had been out for a while.

-

Zaraki Kenpachi wondered what he did out fucking five thirty in the morning in the middle of nowhere but did not really care. He had not been able to sleep, but luckily Yachiru had not woken up when he had gotten up. He would let Yumichika and Ikkaku deal with the brat when she woke up; they deserved that after drinking up his sake.

He came into a meadow and stopped suddenly. At the other side sat a Shinigami, curled up with his head resting on his forearms.

Blue hair? Kenpachi had never seen a Shinigami with blue hair in Seireitei. He walked closer, actually a bit curious of whom it was.

"Oi."

The head shot up and yellow eyes met his own. Kenpachi's eyes widened and he burst out:

"Kurotsuchi?!"

-

Mayuri blinked at the giant man, _where did he come from?_ and then replied in his eerie voice:

"Zaraki-san. You startled me."

Kenpachi was a bit confused with the calmness of the man, as he only knew Kurotsuchi Mayuri to be an angry man who loved to torture others.

"Is there something you want?" Mayuri asked.

"… Nah, not really. What are you doing here?"

"Time-out," the smaller man said. He turned his head and Kenpachi saw the ears appeared to be missing. He could not stop staring at the man. Tan skin, that blue hair, slight stubble… why the hell did he hide behind a mask?

"Why do you have a mask on when you look like this?" Kenpachi asked and crouched down. His neck hurt looking down for so much.

"I have always worn a mask," Mayuri said and stroke away his hair. The giant Shinigami could not help but notice the twelfth captain was thin, the wrists looking so fragile. Was this really the man who on a regular basis threatened to kill someone? The man continuing talking woke the big man up from his thoughts, "And no one has given me a reason not to wear a mask. You all think you know me, so why should I try and be myself when you have already assumed who I am?"

"Keh, that's because you behaves like an asshole," Kenpachi said and peered at him.

"Nemu says I need friends," Mayuri said and smiled sadly. The smile was strange to see, and Kenpachi wondered if he was the first one to see a somewhat real smile on that man's face. "Only I am not so good at making friends because no one has ever tried to understand me. I stopped trying long ago."

"Why?"

_Why indeed?_

_Flashback:_

_Mayuri was little yet he understood why everyone was scared of him. He was not like them, he did not act like them or did really feel like he had to be like them. Therefore, he was not normal. And if something was not normal, stay away from that thing._

_So Mayuri had simply stopped trying to be friendly._

Waking up from memories he firmly pushed aside, the blue-haired man replied:

"Because no one understood me. Not even my parents. And everyone thought I was strange anyway, and you don't go close to strange things if you want to remain normal."

"Why didn't your parents understand you?" Kenpachi was slightly disturbed with how dead Mayuri sounded as he spoke about what had happened.

"_Dear, there is something wrong with him! Why isn't he like everyone else?!"_

_Mayuri tried to shut out his mother's voice, knowing she thought he was out. The blade dug deeper and the pain suddenly was the center of his focus. His own blood, so dark, dripped down on the floor. He watched in fascination as his blood escaped his body, ignoring his screaming parents. They never wanted him so why had they kept him alive?_

"I wanted to become a Shinigami," Mayuri said, not quite ready to tell the truth. He wondered if he ever would be ready to tell the truth to anyone as he himself still denied it. "They didn't understand why as they had never had a Shinigami in the family. A family who will die with me."

"With you?"

"Yes. Nemu might be able to get children but her DNA is so different from mine so the children will not belong to the Kurotsuchi family but to Nemu's own. Not that I'm not complaining."

The giant man stared at Mayuri, realizing the scientist was rambling… to _him_, to the wild man that everyone seemed to despise at some point. Mayuri seemed to realize he was rambling and stopped. He looked at the eleventh captain and said:

"Forgive me. Lately I have rambled a lot."

"Haven't noticed that on you," Kenpachi replied, amused as he fully sat down. To his credit the scientist uncurled and sat down Indian-style. He gripped his ankles with his hands and looked at the giant man.

"Do you find me handsome?" Mayuri suddenly asked.

"Handsome?" Kenpachi repeated, just to make sure he had heard right.

"Yes."

"You look nice," Kenpachi tried with. "Little weird with your hair and ears but I gotten used to that already. Otherwise you don't look any different."

Mayuri touched his hair absently as Kenpachi rested against the tree as well. The smaller man's head reached the giant's shoulder. Said giant yawned and realized the warming sun made him sleepy. Looking over at Mayuri, it seemed the sun had the same effect on him.

"Is this how it's like to have a friend?" Mayuri asked after a little while.

"I don't really know. I don't have friends."

"Oh… seems like I'm not alone then."

"No… you're not."

The scientist nodded, mostly to himself, and then made himself comfortable against the tree trunk. When Kenpachi looked again, Mayuri was asleep. Without really thinking, the violent man followed the petite man next to him.

-

Yachiru's screams woke Yumichika and Ikkaku up, and the two men woke up with a start and simultaneous groans. They got up from their futons and staggered out. The pink-haired girl attached herself to Yumichika who fell down at the force.

"Ken-chan is gone!" she wailed.

"Vice-captain, Zaraki-taichou maybe was just going out for a walk," Ikkaku tried, trying to bring life into his brain. Why did he have to drink all that sake?

"Ken-chan's sword is still here!" she continued. "Ken-chan would not leave without his sword!"

They looked at each other, trying to work out what had happened. True; their captain did not leave the compound without his zanpaktou.

"Ikkaku, could you please help me?" Yumichika said and then turned to Yachiru. "Vice-captain, how about we ask around a bit if anyone saw Zaraki-taichou leave?"

The girl considered this and then nodded before letting herself be pried away from the petite man.

-

When Kenpachi woke up again, the sun had climbed much higher. He guessed it was around nine in the morning and swore mentally. Yachiru must have been up for over an hour already. He had planned to go back only after a few minutes after she had woken up if he wished to have his division intact and not lying at the fourth division for injuries Yachiru caused while searching for him.

He turned his head down and saw Mayuri sleeping against his shoulder. So that was why his left shoulder was warmer than his right. The scientist did not look scary at all when he was without his mask. Kenpachi smiled a bit and gently shook his companion awake.

Mayuri looked around in confusion before looking up at Kenpachi.

"Oh… good morning." The intelligent scientist appeared a bit slow in the morning hours.

"Can you get up? The time should be around nine."

"Nine? Oh shit." Oh my, he woke up quickly from his sleepy demeanour. As Mayuri tried to rise up, the two of them realized he would not be able to. His mind may be wide awake but his body certainly was not. He had exhausted himself.

"You need help?"

Mayuri looked at Kenpachi and nodded. The scientist thought the man would just pull him up which would result in him falling down again.

To his surprise, Kenpachi kneeled down and offered the man… a piggy-back? Well, Mayuri had not had one for a very, very long time. Only once had his father done so, and Mayuri had been so small that he could not remember it very well.

His thin hands gripped the worn material of the white robe and he heaved himself up. He was easily lifted up, Kenpachi's hands meeting underneath him to hold him up. The giant began walking, Mayuri resting fully against the man's back. The blue-haired one smiled; if this was like having a friend, it was great. The feelings he had felt only hours before was washed away due to the very presence of the eleventh captain.

"You falling asleep on me, Mayuri?"

He did not even mind this man calling him by his given name, but instead he only replied:

"You try to work for six days without sleep and see how well you feel."

"Fucking hell, are you all in twelfth division this crazy?"

"Mostly."

"Insanity," Kenpachi muttered.

"That is what we call your division," Mayuri said with a grin.

"Mine?! You are the crazy ones!"

As they continued to bicker back and forth, they had not realized a bond had formed between them that would not be easy to break.

-

"Vice-captain, please calm down!"

Yachiru was currently wailing and Yamamoto leaned his head into his palm, looking strangely relaxed as the eleventh vice-captain screamed all she could… and that was not little. His vice-captain was protecting his ears, something Yumichika and Ikkaku could not blame him for. They were tempted to do so themselves.

"Our deepest apologies," Ikkaku said and bowed to the first captain. "We are currently looking for Zaraki-taichou and vice-captain thought it a good idea to ask you."

"Is Zaraki missing?" Yamamoto said and looked at them with calm eyes.

"We do not know yet. We woke up with him not being in Seireitei."

"He might have just gone outside of Seireitei," the captain said over the girl's wailing. "I'm quite sure he will turn up soon."

Just as he finished the doors opened and Nemu stepped through. She bowed and had a look around. She appeared confused.

"Yes, Nemu-san?" Yamamoto asked, wondering why yet another vice-captain came without the captain.

"It appears that Mayuri-sama had left the compound, and I was wondering if you might have called for him, Yamamoto-sama," Nemu said and bowed once more. "It seems my efforts were naught as he is not in sight."

"Has Mayuri disappeared as well?" the old captain asked in disbelief. One was fine, but two? Was this a new bad habit of the captains to suddenly disappear on their vice-captains?

"He must have just gone for a walk, otherwise he would have brought his zanpaktou with him," Nemu said. "Forgive me for my intrusion; I shall take my leave."

"So shall we," Ikkaku said and motioned to Yumichika. The man nodded and they bowed to the first captain before following the woman out, Yumichika carrying a wailing Yachiru.

-

"Is there something wrong?" Nemu asked, looking at the crying girl. She was walking with them to the eleventh division.

"Zaraki-taichou was gone when we woke up, that's all," Yumichika said. "Have you had breakfast, Nemu-san?"

"No, not yet. I usually eat with Mayuri-sama but he appears not wanting to show up… again."

"Again?" Ikkaku said, raising an eyebrow.

"Mayuri-sama dislikes eating breakfast," Nemu said with a hint of a smile, "and gets a bit rebellious when I and Akon make him eat in the morning."

"Rebellious? Kurotsuchi-taichou?" the two said in disbelief.

Seeing her chance of making her father appearing a bit more human, she laughed a bit (freaking them out as she had never done that before) and continued:

"Yes, he can be quite childish at times, especially when things do not go the way he wants it."

The two men gaped at her. Yachiru was calming down, and Nemu wore the brightest smile in the whole Seireitei that morning.

-

"Vice-captain! Third seat! Fifth seat!"

The three looked up as several Shinigamis ran up to them as they entered the compound.

"What is it?" Ikkaku asked as Yachiru ignored them.

"Zaraki-taichou has just returned," one of them said. "With a guest."

"A guest?!" both Ikkaku and Yumichika shouted, as that was unheard of. Nemu looked confused at them.

-

They rushed into the dining room and Nemu wanted to burst into laughter at the faces of shock the others wore.

Kenpachi and Mayuri were currently engaged in a tug-war with an egg roll, both eager to have it. Her father was acting like he does only in the company of herself and Akon, which meant the giant had broken through faster than they had.

"Taichou?!"

Kenpachi looked up at Ikkaku's shout, and lost the egg roll to Mayuri who happily ate it up. He had not been wearing his white haori so it was no surprise no one knew who he was. He was currently dressed like a normal Shinigami and his blue hair hid his missing ears.

"What?" Kenpachi growled.

"Who's your guest?" Yumichika asked as he kicked Ikkaku in the shin before letting go of Yachiru who ran up and tried to hug the life out of her 'Ken-chan'.

"Fascinating," Mayuri muttered and the three who did not know who he was turned wide eyes towards him. While not recognizing his face, they did recognize his voice.

"What is so fascinating?" the giant asked as he pried the girl away from his neck. He was not having strangulation for breakfast.

"How utterly ridiculous it sounds when you are called Ken-chan. It breaks all that are intimidating about you," the blue-haired man said with a dazed expression. He then noticed Nemu, waved and said, "Hello Nemu. What are you standing there for? Come and sit down."

"Understood, Mayuri-sama," she said, barely holding back her laughter as she moved to sit down. Yumichika and Ikkaku were currently trying to pick their jaws up. Yachiru stared at Mayuri for a while and then said:

"You aren't wearing the clown-mask."

"Clown-mask?" Mayuri said, amused. "I was not aware I looked that ridiculous."

"That wasn't nice, Yachiru," Kenpachi said. "Although you can't find a nice nickname even if you tried."

"I can!" she said, arms crossed and glaring up at him.

"The only one decent is Ichigo, and there you only call him Ichi."

She began to protest at the same time as Mayuri began to protest what Nemu loaded up for him to eat. Yumichika and Ikkaku could not believe their eyes.

-

"Well, I most certainly had an interesting morning."

Nemu looked over at her father as they walked down the streets to their own compound, having left Kenpachi to explain what had happened.

"It seems you had," she replied. "Have you spent the whole night out?"

"No, I went out early this morning," Mayuri replied. "I do think I will turn in early tonight. Is there anything Akon needed me for?"

"No, he is just keeping the others busy."

"Good. I knew he would be able to make decisions even with the two of us gone."

After that they walked a bit in silence. Then Nemu spoke up again:

"So you and Zaraki-taichou got along with each other?"

Mayuri looked at her, grinned and replied:

"Just perfectly."

End

* * *

Not the last time you will see this! I read a fic… somewhere, don't remember where or what it really was about but Mayuri and Kenpachi was kinda friends in that one.

So since I like both of them, I decided to make them friends! Hopefully I'll make this into a series of one-shots. So await the next one, "_True Face_", if you like this!

Until later,

Ja,

Tiro


	2. Chapter 2

**2. ****True Face**

**Summary**: Kurotsuchi Mayuri hides his face behind a mask. That mask also hides who he really is. One day, someone discovers who he really is, and they both find a new friend.

**Pairing/s**: None.

**Warnings**: People out of character, Mayuri, Kenpachi, Nemu and Akon the most noticeable… I hope. Mentions of blood and gore. Spoilers for the previous twelfth captains. Maybe some more, dunno.

**Disclaimers**: I don't own Bleach.

-

"Mayuri-sama? What's wrong?"

Mayuri did not turn from the mirror but continue to stare at his reflection. Ever since he had looked into a mirror three days ago, he often looked at his own image when he was not wearing the mask. Nemu stepped forward and said:

"Is there something wrong with your face?"

"Not that I can notice…" the man replied absently, one finger stroking along his cheek. "I'm just tired of using the mask."

"Is it because of the difficulty of putting it on?" she asked but was actually hoping for another answer.

"No, it's not that," Mayuri said, unknowingly fulfilling his daughter's wishes. "I just… I just don't want to wear a mask any more."

"Is it because of Zaraki-san?"

"Maybe," Mayuri concluded. "He said I would look less scary without a mask."

"Then why don't you stop wearing the mask?"

"I don't… know if I should be honest. Maybe I should try one day."

-

Kenpachi wrenched the door open grumpily and growled:

"What?!" It was too freaking early in the morning to be disturbed! And he had a killer hangover as well!

The shaking Shinigami stood straighter and said:

"Taichou, there is a guest waiting for you by the training area!"

'Guest? What the?' The man thought for a while. The only willing person to come and visit him this fucking early in the morning was… Mayuri.

Suddenly he was not as tired as before.

"I'll be there in a minute," he said abruptly and shut the door. The terrified Shinigami blinked at the closed door in confusion. That had never happened before.

-

"Do you enjoy waking up too damn early?"

Mayuri turned his head towards the man who stopped to stare at him.

"What?" the scientist snapped after a little while.

"That's why no one recognized you… you ain't got the mask on. Why's that?"

"I thought I should try one day without it," the smaller of the two said as Kenpachi sat down. "And I didn't wake up early, I just--"

"--never went to sleep," the bigger man finished. "Ya know, sometimes it's healthy to sleep Mayuri."

"I do sleep," Mayuri said, huffing as he did. "I just didn't do it yesterday."

"Or the night before, and the one before that and--"

"I sleep!" the man protested.

"Yeah, yeah, I believe you," Kenpachi said, his tone saying he did not.

"Kenpachi!"

The bigger man flew backwards and landed with a thud. He clutched his throbbing head with a groan. 'Ouch, I forgot the guy is kinda strong when he wants to be…'

-

Yumichika stopped in shock, making Ikkaku walk into him.

"Yumichika, what are you doing?!"

"Ikkaku… look."

The bald man looked towards where his friend was pointing and was left staring.

Mayuri and Kenpachi were fighting over a bowl of rice this time. The two shouted insults at each other, trying to make the other let go. Luckily there was no one else in the hall; otherwise they might have thought their captain was going crazy.

The third and fifth seat were still not used to see the twelfth captain without a mask but Kenpachi seemed to just have jumped on the train without much thought and went along with the change.

"I took it first!" Mayuri shouted, trying to get the bowl.

"Hah like I'll ever believe that! I had it first, blue-hair!"

"Bell-freak!"

"Insomniac scientist!"

"Kill-happy monster!"

"Just… give… it… to… me!" Kenpachi growled.

"You give it to ME!"

It ended with Kenpachi as a winner this time and Mayuri glared at his friend.

"Cheater!" he added.

"What?!" Kenpachi said. "I'm not a cheater!"

"So are!"

"So not!"

"So are!"

Yumichika and Ikkaku looked at each other.

"How about we go and say hello to Renji and make him invite us for breakfast?" the petite man suggested.

"Excellent choice," Ikkaku said, despite the fact he hated eating at another division. He just was not suicidal enough to walk in that war-zone Mayuri and Kenpachi always managed to create where everyone else but themselves got hurt.

-

"… Kurotsuchi-taichou… you are not wearing… your mask."

"I'm well aware of that, Akon," Mayuri huffed out, arms crossed. "What happened while I was out?"

"Nothing much," Akon managed, still staring at the man in wonder. It was really rare that Mayuri took off the mask outside the privacy of his rooms. "I made the test you wanted me to but the results will not come until a few more hours."

"Seems like everything is running just smoothly without me," Mayuri said dreamily.

"You are not skipping away from work, Kurotsuchi-taichou."

"… Damn it."

-

"Mayuri-sama."

Mayuri turned his head to show Nemu he was listening.

"Yamamoto-taichou wished to see you," the woman said. "It was about a test you made for him."

"Oh… that one. Where is it?"

He began searching on the papers on his desk, throwing some papers over his shoulder absently. Nemu bit her lip to keep herself from smiling. Her father could be so strange some times.

"Where in the fucking name of that fucking stupid god did I put it?"

He also had a tendency to swear when he lost things. Nemu, as dignified as she could, gently moved aside a few papers and said:

"Here, Mayuri-sama."

He looked up and saw her holding the paper.

"Oh… Did I put in that pile? Well, no wonder I didn't find it."

"Pile… Mayuri-sama?"

"That pile is what I call 'unnecessary shit' but apparently I misplaced that test-result," the man said and took the paper. He read it through and Nemu said:

"Mayuri-sama, he was waiting…"

"Yes, yes, I'm going."

He shrugged on his captain cloak but did not even glance at the mask before he left, waving a hand at her absently as he continued reading the paper. With a resigned sigh, she crouched down to pick up the papers he had thrown down. He always managed to create such a mess, her father.

-

Mayuri did not notice people staring at him as he walked along the streets towards the captain-commander's domains. He had his arms crossed, hands hidden in the sleeves of his cloak and the test-result in his pocket. He took it slow when walking, knowing Yamamoto would not mind. Not much anyway.

As he came to Yamamoto he slipped inside the already open doors and walked along corridors without much trouble.

"Aah, Mayuri is that you…?" Yamamoto looked at Mayuri, blinking.

"Yes? Something on my face?" the man asked.

"Rather… the lack of something."

"Eh? Oh… the mask," Mayuri said and felt his cheek. "Forgot I had put it away."

He shrugged like it was no big loss and produced the paper from his pocket.

"The results you requested," Mayuri said and Yamamoto accepted it.

"Have you started on a new life?" Yamamoto wondered, indicating the lack of mask.

"… Not really. Just checking how it is to be without the mask," the blue-haired man said. "So far it's going just fine."

"So I should expect more days like these?"

"Probably."

-

Kenpachi walked through the door leading to one of the laboratories, feeling a bit out of place. The doors were a bit too low for him so he had to bend his neck, and the place in general freaked him out.

The sight that met him once he got a look around the room made him roll his eyes.

Mayuri had fallen asleep, head on a table in the middle of writing something. The giant walked forward and gently shook the man's shoulder. Mayuri woke up with a start, saying:

"Wha…?"

"You fell asleep," Kenpachi supplied, watching Mayuri peer up at him sleepily.

"… Oh… I guess I'm more tired than I thought…"

"Really now?"

Mayuri did not complain as he was helped up and out the room.

"How was your day?" Kenpachi asked as he steadily steered Mayuri to the captain's rooms.

"Interesting… people stared."

"At your face?"

"Yes… but I didn't mind," Mayuri said. "Gave them all a shock… that was nice."

"Nice indeed," the man replied.

"Akon had a funny look when he saw me," Mayuri said with a grin. "He has seen me without the mask before but never when I came back from having done something elsewhere in Seireitei."

They had now entered the rooms, and Kenpachi watched with amused eyes as Mayuri struggled with his sandals. Once one was off, it was thrown away into a corner and the man did the same thing with the other sandal. A while ago, Kenpachi would never have believed anyone who said that the scientist acted like a human. Mayuri had been too far away back then.

The sleepy scientist fell down on his futon with a sigh of happiness and squirmed down underneath the sheets. Kenpachi tucked the edges around Mayuri making sure the man was comfortable.

"Do I look less scary now, without the mask?" Mayuri asked.

Without hesitation Kenpachi answered:

"Yep."

End

* * *

Eeh… weird ending? Maybe, but I don't have the strength to complain.

Third one-shot: _Sleepy Command_. Kenpachi knew Mayuri was a bit of a commanding-freak… but never suspected the man was like that _all the time_…

Until later,

Ja,

Tiro


	3. Chapter 3

**3. Sleepy Command**

**Summary**: Kurotsuchi Mayuri hides his face behind a mask. That mask also hides who he really is. One day, someone discovers who he really is, and they both find a new friend.

**Pairing/s**: None.

**Warnings**: People out of character, Mayuri, Kenpachi, Nemu and Akon the most noticeable… I hope. Mentions of blood and gore. Spoilers for the previous twelfth captains. Maybe some more, dunno.

**Disclaimers**: I don't own Bleach.

-

"Is he being an insomniac again?"

Nemu nodded to her tea and Kenpachi shook his head in defeat.

"That guy's gonna run himself into the ground one day," Kenpachi said as he sipped some tea, almost half-lying by the table. Nemu was sitting on her legs, back straight but somewhat relaxed. "Akon didn't manage either?"

"No," Nemu replied.

They were talking about everyone favourite scientist captain, Kurotsuchi Mayuri… currently renamed 'the crazy and stupid insomniac scientist bastard' by Kenpachi. Yachiru simply called Mayuri 'insomniac-chan', something that Kenpachi tried to make her stop. At least she only called him that when he really was in an insomniac-period. When he was normal, as normal as you could get with Mayuri, she just simply said Mayu-chan. At least it was not Maki-Maki; Kenpachi would have killed himself if that had been the case.

Back to the insomniac. The scientist had been up and working for five days straight and nothing Nemu and Akon did worked to get him to a bed and sleep.

Kenpachi sighed and sat up. The two were seated by the dining table in the eleventh quarters around the time when no one would enter.

"I guess I'll have a go with him," the giant said. "Mind watching Yachiru for me?"

"Of course not," Nemu said. "Akon is handling whatever business needing to be done today anyway."

-

Kenpachi looked around the gloomy room and said:

"Mayuri? You in there?"

"Kenpachi?"

Mayuri suddenly stood in front of him and Kenpachi looked down at him.

"You look like shit," he commented.

"I'm fine. Akon and Nemu are too worried sometimes," the man said as he turned around. "Besides, I have so much to do that I can't just drop everything."

"Yeah, but being awake for five days is not healthy," Kenpachi said, wincing at his own words. Sounded like a goddam mother. He had spent way too much time with Nemu. At least she was a good baby-sitter for Yachiru.

"I'm fine, can't you see it?"

"Let me see… rings under you eyes, unclean hair, dirty clothin', and a general look of 'you look like shit'. Conclusion; no, I can't see you're fine."

Mayuri glared at him and turned back to all of his jars and whatnot. Kenpachi sighed and said:

"You are tired, admit it."

"Even if I was, I need to do this."

"No, you don't need to do this. They can wait a few hours for you. Akon can handle it; he knows how you want things, and will not mess up."

"I have to do this!"

The giant growled; no more Mr Nice-guy. He stalked forward and lifted Mayuri up. Surprisingly easy, and it made the scientist look like a brat.

"Kenpachi!"

Said Kenpachi threw Mayuri over his shoulder and walked out from the room.

-

By the time they had reached the scientist's sleeping quarters, Mayuri was almost asleep. The man had stopped fighting once he realized Kenpachi was not letting him down and now when he stopped being busy his mind immediately jumped to the aspect of going to sleep. However…

"You better make sure none of the things I worked on gets destroyed," Mayuri slurred at the giant, sleepy eyes glaring, although it did not look all that scary if Kenpachi could have seen it. "Also I had a test running, and that can't be ruined so you have to make sure it survives as well."

"Fuck, how long can you talk without running out of air?" Kenpachi asked. "You've been saying stuff like that nonstop ever since we started walking!"

"You walk, I don't," Mayuri pointed out. "That's a huge difference."

"Che, you're picky today…"

"Also…"

"What now?!"

"There is no need to shout, Kenpachi-san," the scientist sniffed but yelped as he was brought to a standing position. He was in his room and Kenpachi now busied himself with getting the captain's robe off the blue-haired man. "Also I want you to know that I don't want rice for breakfast tomorrow but rather onigiri."

"… Why the flying fuckin' hell is he telling me that?" Kenpachi muttered. "He should tell that to Nemu or Akon or anyone in his squad, _not me_!"

"Did you hear me?" Mayuri said and narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, I heard you Mayuri. I'll make sure to let Nemu know."

"You better not throw that robe to the ground," Mayuri sleepily warned. "Put it over there, and please fold it."

"God damnit, he gets real' picky when he's too tired to hear himself…"

"Did you say something, Kenpachi-san?"

"Noooo, not at all. See, it's folded and everything. Now can you please go to bed?"

"Who are you to order me around?" Mayuri demanded sleepily even as he flopped down on the futon. He continued to mutter under his breath while Kenpachi pushed him down and pulled the covers of him.

"You're way too stubborn," the giant muttered. "Way too annoying as well. Even Yachiru isn't talkin' this much!"

"Wait a minute; I wasn't done with the experiment…"

"Oh no you don't!"

Kenpachi stopped Mayuri from getting up and the blue-haired man looked irritably at him. Then he frowned in confusion and said:

"Why are you in my sleeping quarters, Kenpachi-san?"

Said man gave out a yell of frustration and banged his head into the ground. That was it; next time someone else was bringing the scientist to bed.

End

* * *

Short, and shitty. Buuuut… not complaining. 'Cuz I never intended it to be long.

Fourth one-shot: _Wrong Thing to Say to Kenpachi_. The men in his division really needs to learn more things about their captain should they want to keep themselves alive.

Until later,

Ja,

Tiro


	4. Chapter 4

**4. Wrong Thing**** to Say to Kenpachi**

**Summary**: Kurotsuchi Mayuri hides his face behind a mask. That mask also hides who he really is. One day, someone discovers who he really is, and they both find a new friend.

**Pairing/s**: None.

**Warnings**: People out of character, Mayuri, Kenpachi, Nemu and Akon the most noticeable… I hope. Mentions of blood and gore. Spoilers for the previous twelfth captains. Maybe some more, dunno.

**Disclaimers**: I don't own Bleach.

-

Mayuri searched for the small box he was quite certain he had picked up before he left the 12th division, patting on all the pockets he could find. He was currently walking in one of the hall of Kenpachi's division, heading for the dining hall where he knew Kenpachi was and hopefully not too many people. They still had not figured out who he was, so it was a nice change just having them look at him with curiosity and not disgust.

"Kenpachi-taichou, is it true that Kurotsuchi-taichou is abusing his own daughter?"

Mayuri stopped dead in his tracks, eye widening.

"Where the hell didja hear that shit?" came Kenpachi's voice.

"But captain, it's not shit," he heard one man say maliciously, "it's true. Everyone knows it."

Mayuri felt his hands shake ever the slightest as he slowly lowered them to his sides. He had heard it being said in the past but that was before he had lowered his shields. It was before he was friend with Kenpachi. It was before, when he could just turn away from the voices and retreat to his laboratory.

Now though… it hurt. He never knew it would hurt like it did now, but it really hurt.

"It's shit, that's all it is," the giant said.

"Captain, he hits her in public! It must be abuse! And he's always saying she's nothing but a worm to him, and he wears that freaky mask! Maybe he's so ugly he can't show his face?"

He heard laughter, and had enough. He turned around and ran.

-

Kenpachi fought his way through when he heard the running of feet and rounded the corner. His eyes widened as he saw a blue-haired man vanish around another corner. _Mayuri_.

"Captain, what's wrong?"

The man turned around, very slowly, and they all backed away after seeing the look he gave. His hand tightened around the hilt of his zanpaktou and they froze where they stood at the murderous look they received from their captain.

"I'll deal with you later," he growled, and they all freaked out when they felt his reiatsu spike up. "When I come back and I hear you've said one more bad word about Kurotsuchi Mayuri, I'll kill ya all myself."

The next moment he set off after the scientist, leaving the men shaking in the corridor.

-

Mayuri sank down on the ground, his back against a tree and wondered just what he was doing. He had never allowed himself to be affected in that way and here he was, in the middle of nowhere with tears down his cheeks.

Great… he was sobbing like a baby. Mayuri snorted at the stupidity of the scene and wiped the tears away. He felt hollow inside. He was weak to let those comments get in under his skin. He should just shrug them off…

However, he could not just shrug them off this time. This time Kenpachi had heard them first hand. He did not know why it mattered so much what Kenpachi thought about him, but the fact the giant had heard it at all made Mayuri want to kill those men.

He leaned against the tree, looking up at the sky and wondering if the earth could swallow him up if he asked nicely.

-

"Mayuri!"

Kenpachi felt like a big idiot, running around in a forest and looking for the scientist but for the moment he did not care. He left Yachiru without telling where he went, ensuring a chaotic day at the division. Good; they deserved her punches and kicks. Maybe not Ikkaku and Yumichika, but they were at least good at dodging her.

He saw a shock of blue and moved towards the spot. The spot became hair, sitting messily on top of the insomniac and paranoid scientist's head, yellow eyes widened once Mayuri caught sight of him.

"Man, you run fast for bein' so small," the giant said and fell down in a kinda sitting position next to the blue-haired man. "I had to run real' fast to catch up with ya!"

"… Sorry."

"Nah, the only ones that gotta say sorry are those idiots back at my division," Kenpachi said. "Which they will, some way."

"Don't," Mayuri said. "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter? Stop lyin'. Or maybe you're not lyin' but it matters for me. You're a friend to me, and they insulted you in front of me. I won't forgive that so easily."

"They didn't know…"

"Then I guess it's time they will know."

Mayuri looked over at the giant captain and he looked back at the blue-haired one. The scientist fingered on the box he had found in one of his pockets not too long ago and got it out.

"What's that?" Kenpachi asked.

"… A gift."

"Oh. To who?"

"You." And he stretched it out so the eleventh captain could take it. Kenpachi did, held it in his big hand and said:

"For me? What is it?"

"Presents are not meant to be known before-hand," Mayuri said with a smile. "Open it."

The giant looked at the smaller man but he was not looking back. With a shrug, Kenpachi opened the box.

"Bells?"

"They are better than the ones you're wearing," Mayuri said, indicating to the bells in Kenpachi's spiky hair. "I thought you might need new ones."

Kenpachi looked at the smaller man who was now very interested in his own feet.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," the giant said. "Thanks… I've never really gotten a gift before."

"You haven't?" Mayuri said and looked at him.

"Nah. One or two from Yachiru when she got somethin' weird she didn't like," Kenpachi said with a grin. "She'd make Unohana wrap it up an' all that shit."

"But you have received gifts."

"You haven't?"

"Not… gifts," Mayuri said. "Merely things for my laboratory, and that were given reluctantly to me."

"Who gave it to ya?"

"Urahara Kisuke… back when he was a captain," Mayuri said and fingered on the sleeve of his uniform. "He wasn't reluctant in the way that he didn't like me, but he wanted me to spend time outside the laboratory from time to time. Giving me things belonging in one, and I would not leave it for days. That's the only reason why he was reluctant. But others… they didn't want to give me anything. They didn't know who I was. I never intended to let anyone know who I was."

"Am," Kenpachi corrected.

"… am. Yes, that's right. I'm sorry."

"Stop sayin' your sorry. Doesn't fit you. How 'bout we go and make sure my people will know they messed with the wrong set of friends, ey?"

-

"Think captain was kidding, Madarame-san?"

"About what?" Ikkaku asked.

"About killing us if we said anything bad about Kurotsuchi Mayuri."

"Did you say anything before he left?" the man asked as Yumichika stopped to hear as well. They knew about their captain's friendship with the scientist and it was a bit of a bad sign if they had.

"We… kinda did," one of them said. "Just asking if he thought it was true that he abused his daughter, stuff like that."

"Well, don't say it anymore," Ikkaku said. "Kurotsuchi-san is a captain too, you don't walk around and speak shit about other captains."

"But Madarame-san…"

"Whatcha sayin'?"

They all turned around and was met by Kenpachi's crazy grin.

"You talked 'bout Mayuri, right? What didja say?"

"Nothing at all, captain!"

"You want me to have Yachiru play with ya, or what?"

"Not at all, captain!" one said. "We were just told by Madarame-san to be respectful to all captains."

"Somethin' like that," Ikkaku said. "But before you asked if the captain was kiddin' about Kurotsuchi-taichou and all."

The group of Shinigamis looked at Ikkaku who merely grinned. He then looked behind Kenpachi and said:

"Hello, Kurotsuchi-taichou."

The group whipped around and saw the scientist. Mayuri moved aside some of his hair from his eyes, nodded shortly to Ikkaku and gently shook Yachiru from his leg.

"Go and play with them instead," he told the girl and pointed at the group of Shinigamis. They recognized his voice and grew pale.

"Yachiru, don't bug us until later," Kenpachi said. "So Mayuri, wanna help me replace the bells?"

"Since you can't do it on your own," Mayuri said dryly and followed the giant.

"Che, shut up."

"Don't want to."

Ikkaku grinned at the group of Shinigamis and said:

"There you have it. Stop saying the wrong things to the captain from now on, okay?"

They nodded furiously.

"Alright, Yachiru, want some help playin' with these people?" the bald man asked.

"Yay!" she shouted and struck her fist in the air. "You too, feather-boy!"

"For the last time, my name is Yumichika," the man groaned but moved to follow.

Mayuri heard screams as he had just finished taking away all the bells and said:

"So Yachiru is the thing to threaten your people with when they misbehave?"

"She's the ultimate weapon," Kenpachi said with a shrug. "Ikkaku and Yumichika hang on when they can, 'cuz that means they don't get hit by her… not too hard anyway. Whatcha doing? Come on, put the new ones on!"

"It's not like you need them at this very moment," Mayuri muttered but moved to start putting them back.

"Ya never know, it might come someone in here accidently!"

"You're not going to kill one of your own men."

"Not even one of 'em?"

"None."

"Fuck."

End

* * *

Well, the inspiration for this one vanished and didn't come back for a long time. Here it is though.

Fifth one-shot: _Cooking from hell_. This is the reason why one shouldn't let Mayuri into a kitchen.

Don't expect it too soon, but it will come! Rather short and often than trying to make the chapters long and let them lie in the dust for nearly three months.

Until later,

Ja,

Tiro


	5. Chapter 5

**5. Cooking from hell**

**Summary**: Kurotsuchi Mayuri hides his face behind a mask. That mask also hides who he really is. One day, someone discovers who he really is, and they both find a new friend.

**Pairing/s**: None.

**Warnings**: People out of character, Mayuri, Kenpachi, Nemu and Akon the most noticeable… I hope. Mentions of blood and gore. Spoilers for the previous twelfth captains. Maybe some more, dunno.

**Disclaimers**: I don't own Bleach.

-

"You sure we aren't gonna wait for Nemu?"

"Of course not, I can do this on my own!" Mayuri insisted as he rolled up his sleeves.

"I'm not too sure if I wanna let you do this," Kenpachi said and looked around the kitchen.

"I'm a scientist; I'm used to put things together!"

"That's what I'm afraid for…"

Mayuri huffed as he walked over to the shelves. Kenpachi groaned as he sat down, not wanting to be there yet having no choice. Nemu was out shopping with Yachiru, Ikkaku and Yumichika and would not return on another half-hour. Considering how many experiments Mayuri could start in a half-hour, his record was thirty-seven, the giant was terrified.

-

Nemu looked up from the package she was reading and blinked. Yachiru looked up at her and said:

"What's wrong, Nemu-neechan?"

"I… have a bad feeling about this."

"About what?"

"Maybe I should have let Mayuri-sama go shopping."

"Mayu-chan will do somethin' weird or what?"

"I'm afraid he already has…"

-

"Mayuri, not that!"

"I know what I'm doing, Kenpachi-san, so let me go!"

"No, you don't have a fuckin' clue what the hell ya're doing!"

"I so do, so please let go of my sleeve! You will make me do a mistake!"

"Yes, the mistake of keepin' us both alive!"

"I am not risking your life, Kenpachi-san!"

"Doesn't matter, just drop it!"

Mayuri did drop the glass with the suspicious smoking liquid… right into the boiling water. It made an odd noise and both stopped to look at the pan.

"I don't think that was very good," the giant concluded.

"… Maybe not."

-

Nemu thought she heard an explosion. She stopped, tilted her to the side and strained to hear anything else. If she thought real hard, she could have sworn she had heard Kenpachi yell.

Feeling slightly anxious, she took Yachiru's hand and began walking faster back to the twelfth captain's quarters.

-

Mayuri blinked. And again. And again. And as fun, he blinked some more.

Kenpachi sat on the floor next to him, looking down at himself.

"Mayuri, what's this shit on us?" he asked.

The scientist looked down, considering this, and finally replied:

"It looks a bit like the intestines I accidently spilled on myself last week."

"This is not some experiment, you idiot, you're making food!" the giant exclaimed, waving his arms in the air.

"And cooking is not experimenting?" he asked, confused.

"No, it isn't!"

-

Yachiru and Nemu stood at the doorway, staring. Or at least Nemu was. The girl just stood there, hand in Nemu's, a finger against her lip in curiosity.

"Mayuri-sama," the woman said and Mayuri turned to him, puppy-eye look on his face. "What happened to the kitchen? And more importantly, to you and Kenpachi-sama?"

"I was just trying to make a meal," the scientist said and held up his hands. "The end results… were interesting."

"Very," Kenpachi growled and wiped away something green from his face, looking at it before shaking his head. "I'm tellin' ya, kitchens are off limits for ya from now on!"

"What?" Mayuri cried out. "It wasn't that bad, if I just practice for a bit--!"

"You don't think of cooking as experimenting, doesn't matter however ya put it, you aren't made to cook food!"

Mayuri looked down at his clothes again, scratched his head and said:

"Well… maybe you are right, Kenpachi-san."

"I was right all along," the giant complained. "And now I gotta shower and change clothing before we can eat!"

Nemu now held a hand over her mouth, trying to hide her smile while Yachiru bounced into the room.

"It's quite alright, Kenpachi-sama," she said and he looked at her. "It will take a bit of time to clean the kitchen, so both you and Mayuri-sama go change clothes. I think there are spare robes for you in the linen closet. Yachiru-chan, would you like to help me clean up?"

"Yay!" Yachiru said and jumped up and down.

Mayuri and Kenpachi looked at each other.

"Are you quite sure ya want to let her loose?" Kenpachi asked Nemu.

"I think I can handle her."

"I don't want to be in here when that girl gets free hands," Mayuri said and practically fled from the room, Kenpachi not far behind.

Nemu turned back to look at the state of the kitchen. She recognized quite a few of the tools as Mayuri's bottles and objects, and shook her head even as she smiled. Her father managed to create a disaster almost wherever he went, and the poor kitchen had not been excluded from that.

-

After a successful dinner, without goo all over the place, Mayuri stretched, falling backwards onto the floor and releasing a pleased sigh.

"I take it ya liked it?" Kenpachi said with a grin even as Yachiru began to climb on him.

"Well, I think if I had been given enough time I could have managed…"

"We're not walkin' down that lane," the giant said. "You are forbidden from enterin' the kitchen again, ya hear?"

"It wasn't that bad!" Mayuri whined and turned to his stomach, Nemu smiling at him as she got up to clear away the dishes.

"Wasn't so bad? _Wasn't so bad_?? You made three pots explode and when you tried to cook noodles it looked like someone's nerves had suddenly jumped out their bodies and joined the floor!"

"No, it didn't look like that!"

"Yes it did!"

"No!"

"Plus all that goo! How did you managed to do that?!"

"I don't know!"

The argument followed the woman as she walked into the kitchen, and her smile stayed on the whole time.

Mayuri was a good scientist. He knew people's bodies' inside-out, he could make almost whatever he wanted… but put him a kitchen, and you got the cooking from hell.

End

* * *

Really late with this one, and since my inspiration has totally gone lost on these one-shots (I still like Mayuri and Kenpachi as friends, I just don't have the energy to write about them atm) this will be the last one. I hope you've enjoyed this short series of those two, as I have done (I'm telling you, you can't find what you want to read you just simply have to write it yourself).

Until another time,

Ja,

Tiro


End file.
